Well they certainly don’t help.
My mood has gone way down since my colitis kicked back in. It’s hard to be positive when your body isn't behaving as you wish. But then I think of all the people out there living their best lives under much worse conditions and I know that self pity is not self-serving.
So come on girl, eat well, exercise, love yourself, listen to yourself, do things you enjoy, be kind to yourself. Everything I've just written, in my head, I've said ‘and other people’, maybe it's my co-dependancy that lies at the root.
When I was first diagnosed in my twenties, after a long period of cramping, bleeding, stool samples, colonoscopies, sigmoidoscopes, many many ’oscopies, the lovely doctor stood over me prostrate on a bed, waiting for an ’oscopie said:
‘What happened?’ so gently, that I told her.
‘My mum died, and my boyfriend slept with my bestfriend.’
‘Oh you poor thing. She said.
And well, there it was... and there it stayed.
I know there are studies saying the intestines are the largest organ in the body after the skin and they affect way more of our bodies than we give them credit for, mood, brain function, skin, hydration, inflammation, joint pain, probably even eyesight.
It stands to reason that if your gut wall is inflamed the nutrients from food are not going to be getting through.
I bet if I only juiced and meditated in a spa in the sunshine for a week I’d feel better. In reality however I don’t think I’ll be getting there anytime soon.
So delete the brain niggles:
Mother-in-law contact - dodgy presently.
Neighbour situation - dodgy at present.
Shared freehold situation - dodgy at present.
Jasper's birthday party - not fully planned.
Jacob’s situation - dodgy at present.
Home situation - dodgy at present.
Money situation - dodgy at present.
...and focus on the positive.
Jasper is lovely.
Got onto new course - yay.
Taking control of my life little by little.
Friends are lovely.
I’m alive.
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